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Soundscurious

Sonic Inquirer
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Reply with quote  #46 
Hi Everyone,
I am grateful to have found you and this forum.
I experienced my first Restorative yoga/Gong meditation yesterday. (I have practiced yoga on and off for 15yrs. I have been attending to my emotional well being by participating in CoDa and Al-anon. Which are 12 step programs for 11years also I attend counseling and Unity Spiritual Center. So, I am committed to healing, transforming, feeling my feelings yet not being limited/controlled by them, and a varied ongoing practice of self care, involving re-parenting, nurturing, self examining, adjusting, accepting, relaxing, and being respons-able

I have been experiencing some of the responses that have been mentioned previously. The session was 2-hrs long and divided into segments and different positions. During the first hour we did 3 different Restorative poses. One on the back and two face down 1/2 frogs. I was positioned at the farthest from the gongs and pointed my head towards them.
I came into the session with some feelings of lack. Silly ones( they've run out of blocks, blankets and were too low on bolsters for my usual 3, joy quickly followed by lack when I unexpectedly encountered my mat friend and there wasn't a space next to her)
Turning my attention away from these feelings yet honoring their existence I settled into acceptance and chose to get comfortable.
I pulled a Goddess card the one for the Arts and music 🎶 surround yourself in music it said🎶 Okay here I am. I followed the usual gently guided Restorative breathing from my Bliss yoga gal accompanied by the Gongs player.
I was now turning my attention from the lack to my breathing and gratitude and prosperity.
We turned over face down I nto 1/2 supported Frog and then the saddness and racking crying descended. I silently chanted. "I am grateful for my feelings " over and over. Wetting my pillow with tears and my nostrils becoming congested and in fear that if I completely allowed these feelings (as was what I thought I would do if I were alone) I would disturb my neighbor practitioners w/ my sobbing and nasal noises. I hoped it might end when we did the other half of the Frog pose. No such luck. I chose a new chant " I am enough, I have enough, I do enough" and the sobbing etc continued.
We were then gently instructed to turn over and assume our favorite Shavassana pose, the crying et al. subsided and I plucked up the courage to borrow a couple of blocks and was in a Stonehenge position for the last hour.
Afterwards, we were asked if we'd like to share our experience, no one did publicly. We were encouraged several times by Yogi and Gong player to be certain and get grounded before leaving. My yogamat t friend asked how it was. I told her that I sobbed and we hugged. I slowly put my props up and felt tired and hesitant, I shared with another yogina that I had cried hard and she Very authentically said that's good and that I'd probably released something. It seemed she would have liked the experience?? That it was positive. I had decided NOT to chose bad or good. I did want more context. I also told the Gong player and he said that he'd even heard people laugh out loud on occasion. He continued to demonstrate the bowls to a group of us. I hung out played with a bowl. He returned we did not resume our convo. I wandered over to the exit had some homemade sweets and listened, maybe Spirit would enlighten me.. I told my yoga instructor with much the same warm and nonplussed response.
I left hoping this was a healing release and practiced acceptance and gentleness and gratitude.

Today, I feel, tired, heavy, sadness like grief.
So, I sought you all out for some context and care.
Thank You for letting me get all that down and unpacked, I do feel a bit better.
And thank you for all of the wisdom and kindness and frankness of this thread.

I remain confused as to if this simply was how I heal with sound and now I rest, drink water and be gently observant. Which I Definitely Will.
Or
The Gong experience went awry for me, on this day.
Or it isn't supposed to be like that.

Or some such other variant on the continuum.
Sooo, my question is do I do it again on the 5th August? And prepare somehow?
In case it happens again.
Bless you all and see you all on the mat.
Gratefully welcoming comments and feedback
Getting an early night/
Soundscurious
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